Why is it so hard to make mummy friends?
I wanted to share something that’s been on my mind for a long time now, basically my experience of making mummy friends. Why is it so hard?
My eldest is 5 years old now and since he was born I have been trying to connect with other mums (young mums in particular) – without success.
I mean I don’t know what it is, but everywhere I go whether in playgroups, soft plays or online sites I have not been able to make mummy friends. I do have friends who became mothers a long time before I did but when I got married, I moved far away from the area we all lived in so connecting on a daily basis became difficult. I have tried everything one could possibly think of to make friends in my area (even though that area is not my forte) but I have put myself out there on a number of occasions, unfortunately, it seems like nobody is interested…
I have shared phone numbers, emails etc with other mums but I have been the only one doing the texting and emailing, it would make you wonder whether there is something wrong with you right? like, am I too boring, is my child not exciting enough? etc
For example, my eldest had a friend that he was very close to in nursery and this little boy was the only person he would talk to (vice versa with the boy too) I thought aha! finally, we have found someone that is my child’s “best friend” so obviously it’ll be easier to connect and meet up for playdates outside nursery and his mummy seems to be a lovely lady, boy was I wrong! I had spoken to the mum about meeting up for park dates etc and she genuinely seemed happy to meet up, however since we exchanged numbers, I tried to connect with her but she was always busy so I gave up.
Anyway, I’m still trying to figure out why it’s so hard to make mummy friends, it’s baffling as we kind of all know the struggles mums go through so why not share ideas & experiences and the children can learn how to play and interact with each other at the same time? surely that’s not a bad thing? hmmm, I guess I’ll probably never know.
As my quest to find & make new mummy friends continues, I thought I’d share the 3 different routes I took to try and make friends with other mums- maybe it could be of help…
1. Forums: You can form friendships with other mums on websites such as Netmums, Mumsnet etc once you get to know each other online, this could potentially lead to meeting face to face.
2. Set up a playdate: If your child has made friends in their class, try to ask the mums to get together for a playdate. This way you can work on making a mummy friend whilst the children play!
3. Attend playgroups: I know how daunting this can be as for some reason everyone at playgroups seems to know each other and you may feel like the odd one out but strike a convo with another mum, introduce yourself, you never know, that mummy could become your ‘mummysoulmate’…
I don’t think there is a magic solution or an awesome group where like-minded mums meet. Making mummy friends is like dating, you just have to keep putting yourself out there as you never know who may eventually end up with for your happily ever after story!
Have you found it hard making mummy friends too? feel free to comment & share your experience 🙂
apologies for the long post, hope you enjoyed reading! xx